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Honor Dad & Mom (this is deeper than you think!)

February 6, 2011 Speaker: Paul Ortlinghaus Series: Ten Commandments

Topic: Topical Passage: Exodus 20:12

The following are provided in order to help you maximize the application of the sermon "Honor Dad & Mom."

Biblical passages that were discussed and mentioned:

  • Exodus 20:1-2
  • Exodus 20:12
  • Deuteronomy 5:16
  • Ephesians 6:1-3
  • Colossians 3:20
  • Proverbs 3:9
  • Mark 7:9-13
  • 1 Timothy 5:3-8
  • Galatians 2:20

Practical "steps" to take in regard to honoring your parents in their old age (courtesy of Dr. Donald Sunukjian):

  1. Be committed in your own mind, and agree with your spouse or siblings, that you will do whatever is necessary to take care of your parents in their old age.
  2. Tell your parents of your commitment to their financial well-being.
  3. Increase your monthly giving to the Lord so that your lifestyle adjusts to a level where hundreds of dollars each month could be transferred to your parents if necessary.

Growth Group Questions (ideal for group discussion or to work through individually):

Think of a childhood memory of a time when you disobeyed your parents. What were the consequences?

Intro (to topic) Questions

  • Do you agree with this statement: “We cannot love one another unless we love God”?
  • (Jesus said in Mark 12:28-31 that the greatest commandment is to love God and love others. Most Christians have recognized that our love for others will flow out of our love for God. Another way to think about it: if we want to evaluate our love for God, we should see how we are doing at loving others.)
  • The first four commandments centered on loving God. In the final six we see commands related to loving others. How significant is it that the first “one another” command of the Ten Commandments is directed toward our Dads & Moms/Parents? Do you see its placement (before the remaining five) as significant? Why or why not?

Observation Questions

  • Read Deuteronomy 5:16 and compare the promise with the promise in Exodus 20:12. Are they different, or different ways of saying that “your days may be long in the land” means not just a long life, but one that is filled with God’s presence and favor?
  • Read Exodus 20:12 and read Ephesians 6:1-3 (preferably in the same translation). List the similarities and differences.

Interpretation Questions

  • Pastor Paul said that the word “honor” is a broad, encompassing word, meaning “attach weight to,” “hold in high regard,” and “publicly esteem.” Since this command was primarily addressed to adults here in Exodus 20, what does it mean for adult children to “honor” their parents?
  • Why do you suppose the apostle Paul used the word “obey” instead of “honor” in his re-stating of the fifth commandment? What’s the difference (if any)?
  • Has the nature of the promise changed now that we are part of the New Covenant and not under the Law? What does it look like to take this promise “literally”?
  • What does it look like to “honor the LORD with your wealth” (Proverbs 3:9)?
  • How do Mark 7:9-13 and 1 Timothy 5:3-8 flesh out what it means to “honor” our parents? What is your gut reaction to this? Do you eagerly by into this or is this a “hard pill to swallow”?

Application Questions

  • This word “honor” can be practically thought of in three ways based (somewhat) on our age and place before our parents:
  1. As children still living “at home” - we obey and respect
  2. As adult/grown children out of the house - we respect
  3. As adult/grown children of parents toward the end of their life - we support them financially
  • If you are still living “at home” or under your parents, what is one practical way God wants you to obey your parents this week? How can you show you respect them?
  • If you are an adult/grown child living on your own or if you are married, what is one practical way God wants you to show you respect your parents?
  • If you are an adult/grown child and your parents are (or are nearing) the end of their life, what is one practical way God wants you to support them financially?
  • If your parents are no longer living, what insights can you offer those younger than you on what this looked like or didn’t look like in your life? Do you have any regrets about what you did or didn’t do?
  • God knows that at times (or even often) this is a difficult command to keep. It is difficult because of our own sin and hardness of heart. It is difficult because of the sin and hardness of heart of our parents (and sometimes downright evil or wicked actions). God knows this. How does the Gospel come to bear on you in this? Consider Galatians 2:20 as you think through this question and the next.
  • If you absolutely feel like you can’t honor your parents, what does the Gospel do for your?
  • Jesus was the only person who perfectly obeyed this command. Remember that for the Christian, God's sees us as righteous and holy because of Jesus. Worship HIm and thank Him for His obedience and that He is alive in you as you seek to be all that God has called you to be.



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